Hey there! What's up? Not much here. This is my weekend to do the things that make me happy!! FINALLY a weekend where I had nothing that i HAD to do, just things that I wanted to do. I saw a play at the Vandivort theater last night. Good times! It was called "WIT". It was about a woman with advanced ovarian cancer. You would think that this would make for a really heavy plot line and a solemn show, but really they did a good job of making light of a bad situation. They added random humor through out the show that made it less of a tragedy. It was pretty cool actually. I rather enjoyed it! Oh how I have missed the theater! Speaking of which, that is my goal t omake that my minor!!! I can not wait! So what else is new....hmmmmmm......
So I have been doing some thinking. I know, I know, it's a dangerous thing for me but I can not help it. It only happens every so often but when it does it seems like there is no limit to how much and what I can think about. You know the strangest things come into mind when you are just sitting alone and listening to some good music. The thing that happened to pop in my head today was one that I was not expecting. It was somewhat on the topic of Love. I know, I know, STUPID! I wouldn't blame you if you stopped reading there. But I will continue non- the -less. So have you ever had ONE person that you have just had a real connection with. they are the one person that you can honestly say that you have TRULY loved. And even though you are not with them you still think about them occasionaly and wonder what they are doing. And you wonder: what if things were different? Ahhhh....the all time most trivial question that a person can ever ask. The truth is, though, that things are not different. Yet you still hold onto those feelings that you have for them for fear that you won't ever find those feelings in anyone else. In fact you compare everyone else to that person. And almost as if they don't measure up to this person then there is no chance. Well, that is where I am now, and I want out! I just don't know how and it is so frustrating! I guess I just have to wait till someone else comes along that can show me that there is another person that can make me feel those feelings again before I can really let go. NO FAIR! GRRRrrrrr!
Anyway, I know that was boring, stupid, and pointless, but I just needed to vent and think out loud for a moment. Thanks for listening, or reading rather, or just scrolling down to this point so that you didn't have to go through that agony, whatever the case may be. HAHAHA!
Well, I am just gonna post some thoughts for the night and then I am out.
Just know that "It hurts to tell someone you love them and not hear them say it back" ~Monica from Friends
To love someone is the one of the greatest feelings that one may ever know. If there is even a chance that you think you might love someone, do not hesitate to take action. Make haste, do not waste the prescious little time that we have with eachother. Do not let fear rule your heart, but let your heart be your guide and the rest will follow. ~Me
In summation of that topic, love is a risk. One BIG SCARY risk, but you should ask your self, "is it worth it?" and then follow your heart.
Whoever battles with monsters had better see that it does not turn him into a monster. And if you gaze too long into an abyss -- the abyss will gaze back into you. ~Nietzsche
Don't be ashamed of being an idealist, of being romantic and "yearning." If you yearn for people who won't reciprocate your interest in them, you should know that your yearning for them is probably the most valuable thing about them. So long as it is unrequited. ~ Joyce Carol Oates
"These wounds won't seem to heal. This pain is just too real. There's just too much that time can not erase. I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone. Though you're still with me, I've been so alone." ~Evanesence
"I try so hard to lie awake try so hard not think of you. But who can decide what they dream? And dream I do! I believe in you. I'll give up everything just to find you. I have to be with you to live, to breathe. You're taking over me." ~Evanesence
Alright I am heading out to do some long overdue studying, but I hope you guys enjoyed! Buh bye!
~Chelle | 
. I went home this weekend, it was good times. On friday i celebrated my birthday early with my family. My real birthday isn't until the 17th (St. Patrick's day!!!) but i will not be home till a few days after that so we celebrated early 
. On saturday I went and saw my guard babies at the Marquette competition! They were so cute! They did very well and I am very proud of them. Saturday night I went to eat with Nina, Brian, and Kelly then went back over to Brian's house to chill. Sunday was an eventful day, i had to come back to springfield cuz the silly people of Steak N Shake scheduled me to work 
. But when I went out to my car to leave, imagine my suprise when i discovered i had a flat tire 
. No good can come of that. I was crazy and frantic trying to fix it and get on the road to make it back in time. Luckily, i did and it was a good night! I hung out with Neil later that night and finally got some things figured out. Although things are still complicated 
. I dunno if they will ever be simple. Oh well....that's the story of my life ( my life with guys anyway). So just one week and one day till i am 19!!! YEA!!! Isn't it funny how even though i am getting older techincally I am still a child when it comes down to it? True story, I'm tellin ya! I don't feel mature at all, which is sad and disappointing but good at the same time. I have seen what has happened to people who have grown up too fast and I feel bad for them. The stress that they carry and the solemness that emits from them when they walk in the room. It makes me want to take them by the hand, buy them a sucker and lead them to the nearest playground! Ahhhh, the good old days on the playground!! It seems like it was just yesterday....oh WAIT it WAS just yesterday!! Hahaha, not really, just thought i would add some humor for yall. Ok, but seriously though. There is a good friend of mine that would light up a room by just walking into it because he had so much energy and life! He is awesome. Unfortunatly though, I think that he has been forced to grow up way too fast and now things are different. His attitude is different. It's not by any means a BAD attitude, just not as upbeat as it used to be. Even in the sound of his voice you can tell that things aren't the same as they used to be. Things like that make me VERY sad. I just wanna give him a BIG hug! Ok so my thought for the day: ACT YOUR AGE! hehehe, NORMALLY that is used to tell people to act MORE mature. Well as we all know I am a very different person and I have different and unsual outlooks on things, so stick with me here. I am using this phrase to tell people to procrastinate acting more mature. Wait till the time is right. While it is ok to progress in life and take on responsibilities, you must always remember to keep that energy and care free happiness that we all need. These are the days for us to enjoy, and hey it's not like we are going to have the energy of an 18 year old our WHOLE lives so why not use it when we have it?! Ok, I am sure that i have bored you guys with my CRAZY thought processes long enough. It is time for me to leave yall now, but just know: that I LOVE YOU! 
